Untraditional Wedding Ideas | Midnight Musings
“I want to be an exaggerated version of myself and my favourite things, I want my friends and family to be there and see me and accept me for who I am.”
Wedding planning is awkward when you work in the events business. A lot of my time is spent researching traditions, new types of suppliers, and learning more about the industry than I ever knew. In turn, I’m learning more about myself at the same time and how untraditional I can be.
I once went to a friend’s wedding, a religious ceremony. The kind of thing I probably would have wanted as a child. It was nice, and lovely for them, but I immediately realised that I wouldn’t really want that kind of thing. For one thing, I’m not religious so it’d be weird to suddenly want to be married in a Church etc, and for another thing, I don’t feel comfortable with certain traditions that come with that kind of ceremony, and to be honest, I don’t feel comfortable with a lot of traditions I’ve heard of or been brought up around.
For starters, I’ve said in my earlier blog that I don’t want a white dress. I’ve got a dream of wearing an elegant gothic dress, either black and purple or black and red, long enough to go down to the big boots I plan on wearing. I’m going to walk down that aisle to rock music to make it really dramatic because despite the fact I’m introverted, I want everyone to look at me on my wedding day. I want people to see me walk down by myself, leading my bridal party, and know that I made my own decisions. I want to give myself to my partner, not be handed off. I want to write my own vows, and declare to the world that I love my partner and want to be with him for the rest of my life. I want to be an exaggerated version of myself and my favourite things, I want my friends and family to be there and see me and accept me for who I am.
An issue I had thought about for a while was the wedding breakfast afterwards. Both my partner and I have separated parents and while they’re amicable and friendly, that would make for one heck of a long table. In the end, the best idea I had from a friend was to place our respective family members on their own tables and have a table to ourselves as the newlyweds. At least this way I can keep family members that don’t enjoy each other’s company in their own bubbles. I don’t think I want to pressure anyone with a speech either — I did a thank you speech at our engagement party and I had to be rescued by my partner quite quickly! Between my Mam whispering to me who to thank (to be fair I asked her to) and looking at all our guests, I just couldn’t make a straight sentence. I certainly wouldn’t want to make a speech by myself but I don’t mind thanking our guests for coming and such. If my Dad or any of my family members wants to make a speech they can but if I don’t want to do it, it doesn’t seem right to me that I ask others to.
I can imagine setting up the night before or on the day, making sure all the placements are set. I have a very creative family, so we’d probably end up making the table decorations ourselves. No white table linens for me, please! Gimmie those gorgeous cobweb designs on purple, or maybe red, or maybe blue — or maybe every table can be different! Oh, and the centrepieces can all be either pumpkins or hand-made creations; little witch hats and skeletons or skulls, maybe a single rose on each table…I’m giddy just thinking about it! It’d be a lot of work but I feel like it would all pay off in the end, and it’d just be another part of my personality shining through on our wedding day.
If you’re wondering what my partner wants for our wedding, that’s totally fair. See, when we discussed marriage in the past, he was never as enthusiastic about it as I was. I see his point really — we’re practically married right now with our current lifestyle! It is a lot of money to be used for what is basically a large party to celebrate our love, but that’s what I love about it and it’s just about the only traditional thing about weddings that I’m keeping! As a result, he’s not too bothered about the design choices, just so long as he gets a word in if I go too far.
He’s happy with the choice I made for our first dance though. I won’t spoil the surprise but it’s definitely not the normal love song choice.
For my reception plans, I have to keep reminding myself I probably won’t be able to rollerskate in the wedding dress I want. Plus, roller skating when there’s drink available seems like an accident waiting to happen, but on the other hand, I love skating and I just want to include it somehow. We both joined Roller Derby teams last year and it’s a big part of our lives now. Maybe have some roller skates on the wedding cake? Or hire someone to make little models of my partner and I in our roller derby gear, specific to our teams! One side Tyne and Fear, the other Durham City Rolling Angels…perfect! Plus the cake would have to be tiered with different types, mostly because I can’t decide on a flavour but also because it’s nice to have an assortment. I can’t eat buttercream icing so you can bet I’m saving a lot of the cream-free tier to myself. Other than that, I think the only thing to worry about is keeping the speakers away from the older generations — during our engagement party, the music I chose was a bit loud for them and considering it wasn’t to their taste it seems fair to keep it down. There’s never seating plans for receptions anyway so everyone will have free rein on tables and seats available. Hopefully, I can plan ahead and make some signs to help people find comfortable places that suit them — I know it’s my wedding my way but the last thing I want is people looking uncomfortable on my wedding day and not wanting to say anything about it.
All in all, I’m not very traditional, am I? I can’t help but wonder what other non-traditional things people are getting up to in their own wedding plans; do they have people they want to walk them down the aisle? Do they have poems they want reading out during the ceremony that really symbolise their relationship? There are so many ideas out there!
I can’t wait till I can really start making my plans a reality. To physically see the dress, the decorations, all on the big day…that’d be awesome.
Guest written by Erin (erin@uplanit.co.uk).
See you next week.
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