What a quackin’ proposal! | Midnight Musings
“I started thinking about my own vows, what I would say to my partner in front of our friends and family. What words could I use to describe how amazing he was to me?”
I finally started planning properly this week. I’ve been engaged since 2017 but life just gets in the way sometimes. Weddings are expensive after all, though as my partner tells me “They don’t have to be expensive — you just want fancy things.” It’s the truth, I do want fancy things. He’s not teasing me or putting me down, just giving me the truth I need to hear. He’s always been supportive of my dreams, and if that means having a fancy gothic wedding then it’s time for money-saving and scrapbook making!
As a kid, I always thought I’d get married in a church. As an adult, I want a fancy wedding in a fancy manor, seats covered in fabric with cobweb patterns, wearing a long, fabulously gothic dress and big goth boots underneath it. I’d march up the aisle to powerful rock music, stomping my boots and making a unique impression on everyone attending. Of course everyone attending would be expecting something like this but it’s still nice to think I could surprise at least somebody. I’ve been dreaming of a wedding like that ever since my partner and I agreed we’d like to get married someday. We weren’t officially engaged (much to the chagrin of everyone who saw us after being a couple for about 3 years into the relationship) but we wanted to be eventually, when we had the money and the time. At some point along the way, we looked up rings online and found beautiful designs that weren’t extortionately expensive. I pointed out my favourite and my partner told me that while I had picked a ring, he would like to choose the time and place to propose. I agreed, and so began the butterflies.
I don’t really remember when we picked it out, but I remember the proposal. It was perfect for me. We were on a date in Durham, walking down to the riverside off by Framwellgate bridge. It was a warm day, but not too warm; there was a breeze in the air and the trees helped shade us from the sun. There was a spot where we used to sit, admittedly unsafe and obviously so since there had been a railing installed. Naturally, I was grumpy at the prospect of not being able to sit dangerously close to the river, but leaning on the railing let my partner hug me close from behind, giving me a comfy hug. I liked watching the ducks go by on the river since I had rarely seen them as a kid. I quacked at them because I’m an adult and if I want to quack at ducks I have every right. My partner chuckled at me — he was well used to my eccentricities by this point. He raised my hand up to my eyeline, said, “Erin, y’know how I love you?” and slid the ring I’d chosen onto my finger. I felt the butterflies in my stomach rise up and before I had a chance to control myself I was quacking enthusiastically and we were hugging tight. To be honest, it wasn’t until we got to the restaurant later that we realised he hadn’t actually asked the question but in a way, he didn’t have to. I always would have said yes.
Since our engagement, we’ve had the congratulations (most of which included the word ‘finally’), the engagement party, we’ve moved house, acquired two cats, been through stresses and happiness and changed the guest list SO many times. I handled most of the planning ideas; my partner isn’t too concerned with extravagant plans and he wants to support my dream wedding ideas. While my heart was set on a grand country manor, the price was far too steep — mostly because of my large guest list! We made more friends over the years and even joined local Roller Derby teams so the ceremony list was becoming over 50 and the reception was over 80! I was disillusioned at the thought of not being able to afford my dream manor and instead focused on enjoying life with my fiance. I still planned little tidbits here and there; things like centre-pieces and favours. I knew nothing about searching for venues and vendors. My family was either married in a church or in a registry office at the civic centre, all the vendors they found were either in the yellow pages or through word of mouth, and every party was hosted at The Railway Club by the High Level Bridge which doesn’t even exist anymore. I scribbled a note down here and there but my planning was in limbo.
I started working at UPlanIt and learned a multitude about the wedding planning process — what suppliers existed (I didn’t know about photo booth hire!) and where to find them online. I hadn’t been good at researching until I started to work there, but in time I learned what to type in to find what I was looking for — specifically goth and alternative themes! We did a small photo shoot for Halloween to celebrate it on the company’s social media and it was so much fun to feel special and romantic.
It was raining cats and dogs outside whilst we took the photos but somehow it felt more fun and close that way. In fact, the only downside was that I couldn’t walk in heels! Later on, I went to my first wedding fair and finally got an insight into what I truly wanted for my wedding (Have a read about the fair here!) but it wasn’t until I took part in one of my best friend’s weddings that I really started to plan. She was a beautiful bride; we bridesmaids had found attire online for us that fitted with her theme and didn’t cost a bucketload, plus she’d made us our own bouquets and earrings for the day. Her chief bridesmaid did our make up and hair beautifully and her photographer was a joy to be around. It made me realise that not all of my wedding had to be expensive, and not everything had to be super fancy in order for it to be amazing. I started thinking about my own vows, what I would say to my partner in front of our friends and family. What words could I use to describe how amazing he was to me? What words would he say to me? It made me giddy with excitement and I realised it didn’t have to be grand and magnificent to be amazing. So now I’m planning with a different goal in mind — I know my settings and I know my guest list, those are my two constants. After that, I can plan around a gothic theme, use UPlanIt to search for vendors, and rely on my creative family and friends to give me a hand here and there, especially with searching for vendors to help out with the more important tasks like DJ-ing!
Guest written by Erin (erin@uplanit.co.uk).
See you next week.
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