Celebrating Mother’s Day: How to get your Mum involved in the planning!
“A lot of couples choose to pay their own way as a sign of independence, but that doesn’t mean their mothers can’t join in on the fun of planning it!”
Mum’s are a great source of information (how many times have you asked her for advice?) but there’s a high possibility that your wedding might be the first time she gets to be Mother of the Bride/Groom! There are a good few traditions passed down the line that have evolved as time has gone on in the world, and we thought to celebrate Mother’s Day, we’d have a dig into these traditions and see how people might choose to change them for a modern day marriage ceremony.
Arranged marriages were very common up until the 18th century, with marriages being arranged by parents or grandparents while their child was still young. There were courtship rituals and betrothals but these were the exceptions — since then, individualism has increased and more people are free to choose whichever partner they wish. But where does that leave the Mother if she doesn’t arrange the couple? Arrange the wedding instead!
In a traditional western marriage, the bride’s side ended up paying for a lot of the wedding, whereas the groom’s side would pay for the honeymoon. But that’s still a lot to pay for — so nowadays couples are choosing to pay their way on their own! In the past the Mother of the Bride was the hostess of the wedding; she plans the engagement party, plans the wedding and pays for it too. However, since more couples are saving their own money for their big day, it’s only optional that they pay towards the wedding. A lot of couples choose to pay their own way as a sign of independence, but that doesn’t mean their mothers can’t join in on the fun of planning it!
Mothers take a more helpful approach to wedding planning now than before; it takes a load off both you and your mother to plan a wedding together. You take in her experience, her knowledge, and you work together to make the wedding of your dreams. Even step-mums can get in the action too! If you’re a bride, take your mother and your future mother-in-law shopping with you for supplies to get their input on your choices. Remember that it’s YOUR decision that it comes down to however — it’s not their wedding! Take heed of their experience and their expertise and use to further your dream wedding. Plus, taking them both shopping with you will help make sure they’re both informed as well so they don’t clash with any outfits or themes you’re preparing. Traditionally, the Mother of the Bride keeps the Mother of the Groom informed for wedding attire, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take her with you on your shopping trips!
Why not also get the mothers involved in arranging the wedding favours or planning the invitations? Since they’re likely to have gone down that route before at their own weddings they’ll be able to help out, and it’s a lovely way to bond with your new family members! Use this time as well to organise their roles on the big day — is the Mother of the Bride the go-to woman for emergencies and gifts or will she share the role with the Mother of the Groom? Who will host the reception? The tradition calls for the Mother of the Bride to host, but your mother may not be comfortable with such a role — maybe the Mother of the Groom would like to instead. Sometimes it can be easier to look at traditions like guidelines of what has been done, and compare it to what you’d be comfortable with. Either way, the end result of having a fantastic wedding should always be the end goal!
If you have any advice for couples who are planning their wedding with their mothers, what would you tell them? How was your experience? Let us know in the comments here or on our social media below!
Alternately, how are you getting your mothers involved in your planning at the moment? We’d love to hear about it!
See you next week.
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