Celebrating Agender Pride Day!
“We’d love to share some non-binary and agender weddings ideas with you…”
In case you’ve never heard the term agender before, this term is also known as ‘gender-blank, genderless, gendervoid, or non-gendered, and comes under the umbrella of non-binary identity. Basically, it’s defined as not having a gender, or not identifying with either the female or male gender, and we’d love to share some non-binary and agender weddings ideas with you to celebrate Agender Pride Day.
We think gender-neutral terminology is going to get more popular in the wedding industry as people become more comfortable and open about their identities, but if you’re still unsure on what kind of terminology to use, we’re here to help. For starters, keep in mind what pronouns each of the wedding couple would prefer. There are those who identify as agender/non-binary who’d rather be referred to with they/them pronouns (such as “They look beautiful!”) whereas some would rather a specific gender. If you don’t know and no one’s told you, don’t be afraid to ask! Using the pronouns they feel comfortable with can and will make them feel validated; if you’re finding it difficult to switch and don’t want to offend them, we’d advise calling them by their name instead of their pronoun (e.g. “Sarah is having a great time” as opposed to “They are having a great time”).
There are more gendered terms in weddings than you might realise — for instance, the simplest terms such as Bride and Groom can be seen as gendered, and may make someone who is agender/non-binary feel uncomfortable. One of our suggestions would be to use neutral terminology such as ‘Nearlywed’ rather than bride-to-be, or simply ‘fiance’ as it is only the addition of letters that makes the word fiance gendered (for female partners). However, you can also simply refer to the couple as partners, or ‘significant other’ without being concerned about misgendering or getting their pronouns wrong.
If you’re planning a bachelor/bachelorette party for either of the happy couple, you could consider using the term ‘bachelorx’ for them at their party/event as this is an effective gender-neutral term for those about to be wed. The letter X is being used more often now to create more gender-neutral terminology, much like the title Mx as opposed to Mr or Ms. Our own Midnight Musing recently came out as genderfluid and announced that they would be using the title Mx from now on, even after their wedding (as opposed to being Mrs Midnight Musing!). Our final suggestion on terminology would be a change around bridesmaids and groomsmen — why not go for ‘wedding party’ or simply ‘attendants’? If you don’t require gender-neutral terminology but your wedding party does, your ‘maid-of-honour’ can easily be transformed into ‘person-of-honour’, though you can choose to avoid the term altogether if you’d prefer.
As for fashion, the world is your oyster! Wear what you feel most comfortable in — it’s your wedding your way after all, and if that means breaking gender conformity barriers then so be it. Flower crowns, suits and dresses for all, or even jumpsuits and rompers! If you’d like to see more cool suggestions, check out our blog on glorious genderqueer wedding attire!
When searching for vendors for your wedding, you can always double-check to see if they’re LGBTQ+ friendly if you’re nervous about it. It can’t hurt to check, and it may do wonders for your nerves in case you’re worried about being misgendered etc. You can also search through your support network of friends and family to see who knows of any suppliers with a history of working with LGBTQ+ couples if you’d prefer more comfort in your choices. A lot of vendors may not necessarily advertise that they are LGBTQ+ friendly and still be open to the wider community, so you may have to ask to avoid any misconceptions or mishaps. If you feel nervous about asking, feel free to have your wedding party accompany you so that you have some support to make a stressful encounter turn into a delightful one.
If you’re looking for specific wedding bits and bobs that you can’t find on the high street, we’d recommend looking into suppliers that also sell unique items such as personalised cake toppers or stationery suppliers who can provide custom invitations and add that flair of personality to your big day. It could be as simple as your favourite colours, flowers, and fonts, or it could feature commissioned artwork of yourself and your partner — it’s all up to you!
What kind of unique styles are you going for on your wedding day? Or, if you’re already married, how did you embrace your identity on your wedding day? Do you have any tips for other couples? We’d love to hear them! Feel free to comment on our social media or down below!
See you next week.
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